My pregnancy in google stages

When I was pregnant I went through stages of google-mania. When I was trying to get pregnant I trawled for articles or blog posts or forum comments that listed the physical symptoms people had in the very first moments of pregnancy so that I could convince myself that this slightly odd sensation in my stomach was cramping due to pregnancy, or that the spotting was implantation bleeding and not the start of my period.

In the first trimester I was obsessed with what size the baby was. Was it an apple seed or a small blueberry? And could that really be causing the slight bump that I was developing or was it more likely the hamburgers I was eating under my (mostly) subconscious pregnancy eating dispensation? I also googled every strange sensation to assuage my fear that something was going wrong. It turns out that Dr Google is only good for amplifying paranoia and not subduing it.

In the second trimester I was relatively normal, but developed and unnatural attachment to the strange fruits and vegetables that my baby app told me corresponded to the size of my baby. Rutabaga anyone?? Clearly not an Australian app! And what happened in week something-or-other when the baby was the size of ‘4 navel oranges’? Come one app developers – you found a fruit or vegetable for every other month! I would also compulsively look at blogs of women a week or some further along than me to watch what was happening to them. Lets not get started on the bump size comparison that I would do on google image search. Let’s just say my husband’s patience started to wear thin when I would show him photo after photo and ask whether my bump was bigger or smaller than theirs.

In the third trimester though I started to search for birth stories. I thought I was reasonably well equipped having watched every episode of ‘One Born Every Minute UK’ (very different to the US which is more about family dramas rather than the gory details of childbirth). It turns out I wasn’t. I fell into a vortex of horrifying stories that all started with long pre labour, slow dilation, intervention and finally c section. After attending a CalmBirth workshop I got wise to the ways of google birth stories and added the term ‘positive’ to the search. Phew. Admittedly these were all home births and those people who find childbirth to be ‘sensual’ and ‘enlightening’, but it was better than detailed explanations of tearing and the phrase ‘ring of fire’…

Since the tiny Scarf was born my googling has been much more mundane. I have googled ‘is this poo normal’ (there is an illustrated website for that), ‘will I ever sleep again?’ (are you kidding you have a baby so you should lower your expectations is always the answer), and ‘my baby wants to watch tv all the time, will she turn into a meth head?’ (no).

Next post I’d like to put my birth story up to add some middle ground to the content out there on the inter webs. Until then I have to go and google this strange rash I’ve got…

 

 

 

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