JOMO?

I’ve heard a bit about the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) and as much as I loathe the acronym, I am the poster child. I was the kid who didn’t want to have a proper shower in case something happened and I missed it and just ran my hand under the water to trick my Mum. And now I am the person who does 100 things really half arsed just so I can try everything. I did a season of triathlon because I really hoped that out of the 3 legs I would a natural at one of them. Turns out not so much so after an expensive lesson I went back to just running which I am crap at but quite enjoy. I don’t really mind being that person who wants to try everything, I crave constant novelty and change, but there are definite downsides to it. Mostly that I don’t do anything ‘properly’ and I always seem to have unfinished business. And it is quite hard to focus on 10 things at once. 

Because i know this about myself, in the last few years my goals have been to not set goals but focus on intentions. This is quite extraordinary for someone who is a uni trained executive coach (all about goals) but when you start looking more deeply at intrinsic motivation I found that I was probably setting some goals that were not really set for the right reasons and I had no chance of achieving. Blah blah lose 20kg, clean the house, run more marathons etc etc. So last year my intention was ‘less’. Do less. Have less. Buy less. Eat less. Earn less. Just kidding. But you get the drift. How did I do? Truly sh*thouse. Within 12 months we got married, bought a house, renovated said house (well, we paid someone to renovate said house), I got a new job in a completely different field (same company), got preggers, travelled, lost a few kgs, put them all back on, spent loads of money, etc. I have been intending to meditate for no less than 5 years and have probably racked up a total of 5 x 5 minute meditations in total.

This year I had no intentions and set no goals. And wouldn’t you know it, everything is starting to get simpler. I know this is probably because I have a baby, the good fortunate to be able to stay home with her, and all my energy is focussed on her. But jeez it is nice. I found myself sitting on my couch with a clean(ish) house and looking out the window at an overcast sky and felt an incredible sense of contentment. Firstly because the baby was asleep and frankly that is always awesome. But also because for possibly the first time in my adult life I didn’t have to be anywhere or do anything other than sit where I was and do what I was doing. There is plenty I could have done (I have started studying something because I found myself with an hour to spare and god forbid I not be overcommitted – you could call me a slow learner) but I didn’t feel compelled to do it. And I didn’t move. And that is what I think the Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) is all about. 

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